The Argument

MAN: Do you know what I do? Do you know what have I do? The shit I eat to put food on that table?Do you have any idea of what it takes to keep you warm? Do you? I’m out there hauling my arse around this shitty little island, away from my kids…away from you to come home to this? You know what you are? You’re a cunt. You do this…to me! What am I supposed to do? How do I fix this? You stupid, stupid degenerate… How much do you owe? Tell me woman…How much do you owe?
MAN:  How do you run up a debt to a man like that? How do you even know a man like that? Don’t answer that. You’ve got a problem. Damn!Damn! 45k. 45k. When is it due?
WOMAN: End of the week.
MAN: End of the Week. End of the fucking week! You know what you’ve done? Don’t you? We’re Dead.
WOMAN: We could go to the police.
MAN: Fuck the police. You think they care? You think it’s safe with them. Motherfuckers wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire. Fuck the police!
WOMAN: Maybe we could disappear. Maybe if I talk with him?
MAN: And what? What will you do? What will you do to repay your debt to him? In a week?
WOMAN: Maybe I can work it off?
MAN: How? On your back? You want to go back to that?
WOMAN: I’m so sorry.
MAN: Don’t say sorry to me. Save that shit for St Peter. We are so fucked.
WOMAN: What we going to do?
MAN: Fucked if I know. When I met you you remember what I said to you?
WOMAN: You said I was the most beautiful woman you had ever seen.
MAN: No. When we got together? You remember what I asked of you? You remember?
WOMAN: You said don’t ever lie to me.
MAN: What else did I say? What else did I say?
WOMAN: No matter…
MAN: No matter how bad it got, No Matter what the problem is don’t ever lie to me, Kate. My parents lied about everything to each other all their fucking lives. From who used the last of the milk to who was fucking the milkman. I doubt either of them ever had said anything true to each other in the 30 years they were together. Slept in separate beds in bedrooms at either end of the fucking house. At one point actually divided the house in half.
WOMAN: I know. I’m sorry. You must believe me.
MAN: They were so hateful and twisted that it got so that they couldn’t live without it. Their little dance was all they knew and wanted. Both had a chance to go off with people that loved them and would’ve given them a great life, but they stuck together. Growing old and more bitter until the hate turned into cancer and killed ‘em both. I don’t know what any of this means I just know… I never wanted that for me or you. I never wanted to look at you in that way.
WOMAN: Harry, I love you.
MAN: How do I know that? How can I know that when you keep doing this?
WOMAN: I’m sick I need help.
MAN: How many times do I reach out and help. Is it help? Am I just enabling you? Am I an enabler Kate?
WOMAN: No no.
MAN: Get away from me. Don’t fucking touch me. Not…
WOMAN: Don’t be like that…
MAN: You tell me how I’m supposed to be? You tell me?
WOMAN: I…don’t know.
MAN: I can’t do this anymore?
WOMAN: What?
MAN: I can’t keep bailing you out. I have nothing left to bail you out with. Fuck. 45k. 45k. Fuck!
WOMAN: I didn’t lie to you…
JOHN: No you kept things from me.
WOMAN: I didn’t want to hurt you…
JOHN: Shut up! I gotta think.
WOMAN: Are you going to leave me?
JOHN: What?
WOMAN: Are you going to leave me… don’t please. I need you….I can get help…
JOHN: Shut up! Shut up! What kind of man would I be to dessert his wife at a time of crisis? What kind of man does that? How could I look at our kids in the eyes and say that I let Tony the Bull kill their mother. You think I could do that? you think I am that kind of man?
JOHN: Then why say it?


JOHN: I just gotta think. There’s gotta be something.



Categories: Drama, sketch

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