Journal – Excerpts

Often I can be heard muttering to myself.  Many attempts were made to beat it out of me, but it only gave me more resolve to mutter louder. Then I realised that I was muttering away my secrets, so I reigned it in.
Also, I discovered sex and that kind of behaviour is an inhibitor to sexual exploration that involves more than one person and a tub of Lurpac. I realise that I may have worded that incorrectly but we’ll go with it anyway.

So when I talk to myself, listen closely. I may be saying something like this.

Z
(Originally from 09.10.15)

 

You want the truth?

The Frog King leaned forward presenting his remaining hand in that way that said please.

You’re a pack of uncivilised blood thirty psychopaths with little care for logic or reason, a total disregard for the facts and compassion. An ineptitude that blows the minds of all but the simplest single cell organism. You smell. You have bad teeth, shifty eyes… and what the hell is that?  (pointing to the Frog Kings mishapened phallic statue standing next to the throne).

With a unified clunk of battle armour, The Frog  Kings Royal guards jabbed their spears towards the intruders, the razor sharp tips held inches from their faces.

However, I do however like the curtains.

why did you say that? she hissed.

You know me I gotta tell the truth

couldn’t you have bent the truth. Told them the good bits?

That was the good bits. They are very nice curtains.

You are completely insane.

Quirks. I have quirks.

 

 

When did you become so cold?

-about the time same time you started being a dick.
(Holding a set of keys) you see? There’s always a plan (after fiddling with the keys to unlock the handcuffs he realises they don’t work)

-wrong keys?

Hey it was a good plan. How was I to know there was a managers bunch?

-You know you are not right in the head?

It has been mentioned!

 

 

I’m on a mission from god!

-he is on a mission from god. I just drive him home when he’s a had a little too much.

 

Coffee is often my only friend.

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