NV204 Personal Log
Can’t Remember the last time I felt normal. Don’t know why I am writing this. Feel compelled. Perhaps it’s just the process. Never ingested before. Even now the thought disgusts me. This thing…inside me …You, my other me…Am I writing this for you, for me, or for my psyche eval? Can you hear my thoughts? Some say they can listen to your dreams – when they’re inside. I think that disturbs me more than ingestion itself.
They told me to be unwired – My handlers. ” Do not to use”, “Severe penalties”. But what would you do? Open your mouth and allow the squid to crawl inside. Here little squid got a nice new home for you. All moist and warm. Fuck that! So I got wired. Stuck the cold coil into my ear and let the box hum me a sweet dream. Smoked a joint too, but that just made me more nervous. So I had to wait a while for the weed to wear off and for the wire to knock me out. Now it’s in me, this thing. Took a couple of hours to be sure it hadn’t simply escaped through the toilet. Don’t trust the building materials here very little compcrete here. Blocked up every wet hole and sealed every door in the new safe house. Nicer than the last one I might add. This one’s got hot water. They must be serious about sending me backup. Stay focused. Feel speedy. Like I’ve had too much coffee…or speed… Ha…First time I’ve laughed in ages.
Yep she’s settling in alright. The manual says it’ll be like this for few days until the squid and me get used to each other. Christ I’m going to be eating it’s shit. Fuck…Think I’m going to be sick. No can’t do that – Little shit ain’t settled yet. Probably still pissed from being stuck in a jar in transit or where ever they get these things. I wonder were my came from. Did they grow it here? or did they smuggle it in? Would the board risk the bad PR and set up a lab? Yeah they would the devious fucks. Blame it on the “Terrorists”. But why me? Why this squid? This one isn’t a baby. Understandably I took a long hard look at my new room mate. It ain’t no teenager ether. Shut it. Thinking like that is now dangerous. Can’t speculate. Can’t take the chance. Oh there’s the paranoia kicking in – right on cue. No it’s not paranoia. You wouldn’t even be here if it was just paranoia. Why this world? Why this Earth? Makes no sense. Of all the choices, this one’s pretty unimportant. Maybe that’s just it. Maybe because this world is unimportant. Shit feeling sick again. Keep it down. Keep writing. Sweating so much. So fucking warm. Should’ve got a fan. Water on the wrists the Docs told me. Water on the wrists. Fuck it! I’m getting a bucket and putting my feet in it…Still.
It has it’s charm.
Seem to be repeating the same mistakes as us – a few years behind but they’re catching up. But the sunrises here are beautiful. Their Sun so orange and warm. and the food like you wouldn’t believe. Feeling tired now. Should Sleep – long day ahead. Tomorrow I make some new friends. Better get some sleep.