I am haunted by wrong decisions, by memories of paths not taken.
I see glimpses of a life that could have been through dreams of that other me. Vivid. Clear. Like a moment of clarity the Nexus of other mes swirl around the one I visit tonight and for a moment there is peace. Around me the walls of space and time open up like the eye of the storm within a hurricane the space expanding in a slow motion explosion a shock wave bubble with infinite decisions taken and not taken swirling on its surface forming rainbow oil slicks of what could have been and what has already. The bubble quivers like a dying jelly fish as it pushes through the most unimaginable light. Then in a blink of an eye all is and gone and I remain here in this new reality feeling what it is to be that other me. For a moment I forget I am an observer. I am the glimpse of something in the corner of my others eye. Standing just out of view a whisper of a Shadow within a shadow. I reach out and we cross over and I become him and he me. For the briefest of moments I am the man the one who chose this life. A man not clouded by doubt. Filled with love for the woman with whom he created this reality. I see through his eyes. Feel the drop within his belly as I taste his thoughts and become him. I am the shiver down his spine. This is a good life I tell him. You did well I whisper. She is the one. I feel a warm tear roll down my right cheek. His tear. My Tear. We continue to stare and we feel what he feels as one just for a moment then the connection is broken and the storm returns. She catches me staring. What’s wrong she asks. Nothing I say. Nothing at all. She kisses the lid of my leaking eye and leaves a warm palm against my face and goes back to work. I am a witness to her creation. To her brilliance. I feel the ghost of the other me leave me fully as I watch her paint the space he occupied like a warm seat left unattended on a cold bus my warmth slowly replacing his until he is gone and only I remain.